Weddings have a briefing for almost everything. The meaning of the ceremony can be left to the guests to work out for themselves. The band is briefed. So are the florist, the photographer and the family, down to who stands where and when. A wedding can be planned with great care and still leave one thing unexplained: what the ceremony is actually saying.
This wedding made us think about that. The groom was Malayali and the bride was Bengali, and they had a church wedding on one day and a mandap ceremony on another, at The Secret Grove in Yelahanka, Bengaluru. Taaffeite curated the whole of it, and for the mandap ceremony we wanted a guest to be able to follow what was being promised.
So the Saptapadi came with a note. Printed cards set out for guests carried its seven promises in plain English, alongside a mini bell and a cone of rose petals. The first reads: Dharma, first vow: We promise to uphold righteousness, mutual respect, and support one another in leading a virtuous life. Families and communities keep the Saptapadi in their own ways; this is the wording on this card.
A Saptapadi card, a mini brass bell and a banana-leaf cone of rose petals, set on a guest’s chair at the mandap. Photo: The Taaffeite Lens, Taaffeite Events.
The couple make those promises to each other, and everyone seated is a witness. A witness who does not know what was promised is only an audience. We hold one belief about that, and it is a belief rather than a finding:
Rituals don’t fade when people stop performing them. They fade when people stop knowing why.
A card cannot solve a question that large. It can make sure the ceremony is not the one part of the day guests are left to work out for themselves.
More from this wedding: Ruby and Coral.
- saptapadi
- cross-cultural wedding
- wedding ceremony
- guests
